Notes on the Journey

Thursday, July 19, 2012

In The Arms of the Dragon

When is it time to call it quits?  With anything...job, relationship, project...whatever.  This is sometimes a difficult thing to determine.  We get emotionally invested in things over time and don't want to let go.  We keep thinking if we stick with it...whatever "it" is...that we'll attain success, or get what we want, or be successful.  But, that's not always the case.

Sometimes we think, "But, I've invested so much of my time; money; energy; creativity; love; effort; attention...you name it...into it that I can't stop now."  That's a false perception.  But, there's a fine line.  Sometimes we do need to keep going, but sometimes we just need to stop.  Sometimes going forward becomes self-destructive.  We keep investing in something that's never worked and isn't going to ever work, without seeing what we're doing.  We get obsessed with things and hold on.

What I find for myself is that it's my mind that tries to convince me to hold on when I should let go.  All kinds of logical arguments and reasons will come up that say to keep going.  But, emotionally, my energy is not in it.  Or, it doesn't feel good to keep going, even if I do it out of duty or will.  Am I making myself miserable by continuing?  And, why is being miserable going to get me anywhere?  Am I doing it for the money?  Am I doing it because I'm too proud to stop?  Too stubborn?  If I stop will I be a failure?  Will I be embarrassed?  What's the judgment that's haunting you and preventing you from stopping something you know it's time to stop?

Sometimes we've done something for so long that our identity is tied up into it.  This happens a lot with people and their jobs.  We start to think we are the thing we do and if we stop doing it then who are we?  Not a bad question to ask, but one that should move us forward, not hold us back.  Or, we have long-term relationships we've formed through our work and don't want to leave them.  But, the truth is, if those relationships are important, they will continue with or without the job.  Things that are important to us will continue even when the things that no longer serve us are let go.

We fall into traps and prisons of our own making and then get comfortable there and decide to stay.  Change can be scary, but it's also exciting.  It opens up new possibilities, and new challenges, and it expands us and gets us engaged in Life again.  Suddenly we might be called upon to face situations and find solutions to things we haven't dealt with before.  Abilities we haven't needed to access might be called to the fore.  New neural pathways need to be created, and new parts of ourselves come online because they're needed.

When we stay too long in anything we start to deteriorate.  As averse to challenge as we can be, it's by always seeking out new challenges that we grow and expand.  Change is good.  It keeps things interesting.  It keeps us engaged and growing.  It's creative.  And, it's the nature of Life.

If we resist change and try to hold on, we're resisting Life and the gifts it's trying to bring us.  When we get the impulse that it's time to move on, we need to pay attention.  People say they don't know, but we always know.  It's just that we're not always paying attention.  Or, we don't like what our impulse and intuition is telling us.  But, it's not as if we can stop Life from happening, all we can do in any event is delay it, and usually at great personal expense.  If we can listen and pay attention and move when Life tells us to, then we're in the flow of what's showing us how to manifest our greater yet to be.  Then Life is fun and fluid and growing and expanding.

Breathe into the thing that holds you.  How does it feel to stay with it?  How does it feel to let it go?  What feels expansive?  What feels constricting?  Where and what is the fear that says "no?"  When we finally let go, we put ourselves in Life's hands...we put ourselves, as Merlin says in the film "Excaliber," "...in the arms of the dragon."

I'm not always able to let go, but I do my best to listen and pay attention.  Sometimes there's a lot to work through before I'm able to let go, but better late than never.  I want to live Life fully, without resistance, without restriction, without fear.  I want to live in the arms of the dragon.   

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