Notes on the Journey

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

And Now, It Begins

I found out this morning that Trump had won the presidential election in the US through an email from a friend.  I immediately felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  I got suddenly nauseous as adrenaline moved through my system.  I wanted to deny that it was the truth.  I wanted to think that my friend was mistaken.  We love our delusions.  I didn't want to admit that the bubble had burst.  Burst completely wide open.  But, no matter what I'd like to hold on to, life as we've known it is done.  We have been launched into a period of transformation and transmutation that would seem to be the Armageddon that has been talked about for eons.  We have reached the final confrontation of light versus dark.  It is now in stark relief.  But, that's the point.  We are shocked.  The blinders have been ripped off.  The shadow just punched us in the face...hard.

As the initial rush of adrenaline fades and moves through my system, sadness takes over and I allow myself to cry tears of bitter disappointment.  I didn't think Brexit could happen.  And, I didn't think Trump could be elected President.  But, the rose-colored glasses had to come off at some point.  Right now, I'm feeling a bit daunted by what I know is going to be required of us in the four years to come.  I'll get over myself.

I'm on the older side of things.  I've been digging deep my whole life, working to transform myself and transmute my shadows.  I'm tired.  But, I know I can only allow myself the briefest bit of rest.  I've been feeling that I'm only just now starting to really come into my own.  I've been feeling that I'm only just now starting to walk into the deeper purpose for which I came to this planet at this time.  I've been feeling grateful for all the personal, internal work I've done previous to this moment in the knowing that it has prepared me for what will be required of me in the now.  And yet, the shock of today has not moved through yet.  I've not stabilized from the stunning realization of a Trump presidency and what that means for all of us.  But, tomorrow is another day.

What I know, beneath the tiredness and the shock, is that I will rise to the occasion.  We all will.  We will all recover ourselves and stabilize.  We will pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off.  We will join together.  We will do what needs to be done.  The best in all of us will prevail.  We're going to be called upon to rise up in ways we could never have imagined.  And, we will rise.  We're going to be called upon to be strong.  And, we will be strong.  We're going to be pushed to the limits of our stamina and focus, but we will dig deep and roll up our sleeves and do what we came here to do.  For many of us, this is what we've been preparing for.  We're just entering the birth canal.  It's going to take us four years to get through it, and we're going to be asked to be more than we ever thought we could be, but we're going to birth ourselves into something better and brighter as we come out on the other side.  Breathe.

Difficult times bring out the best in us.  It is in difficult times that we are called upon to rise up and be the best that we can be.  It is in difficult times that we find our strength and our courage.  It is in difficult times that we find out who we are and what we're made of.  We are heading into such difficult times.  It's going to take everything we have to turn this crazy runaway train around, but we will do it.  We are up to the task.  Yes.  We are.

As I read on Facebook recently--and I apologize for not remembering who said it--we are in an Evolution, not a Revolution.  Things must change, but not in the way they've changed before.  This time, we must walk the path of the heart.  Violence is not what we want.  Confrontation and resistance is not going to get it done.  This time, it's the feminine joined with the masculine.  This time it's going to look different than anything we've seen throughout our historical past.  Trump, and everyone who voted for him, are standing in the mirror of our shadow so that we can see it in undeniable form.  We have to see it so that we can own all of what is being imaged for us.  So that we can accept it within ourselves.  So that we can love it free and integrate it into our wholeness.  As Matt Licata would say, we need to slow down, slow way down, and get deeply, quietly curious about what's showing itself to us.

Our nation is soul sick because we've been in denial for too long.  It needs all the love we can muster so that we can see our way forward.  This is not a time of division and separation and isolation.  This is a time of coming together and union and compassion.  And, we are going to find our way.  We are going to reshape things and find solutions that work for everyone.  We are going to work even harder to protect our planet, because we have to.  I don't know why humans seem to need to be pushed to the brink before we jump into action and pull ourselves back.  Maybe it's our seeming love of drama and the excitement of a last minute save.  But, whatever the reason, we're here.  And, we're going to pull it out.

Take a day to mourn and wallow around and scream and rage.  Let it all move through.  And, try not to project it onto everyone and everything around you.  But, tomorrow, we need you.  We need your heart.  We need your prayers.  We need your good deeds.  We need your strength.  We need your perseverance.  We need your truth.  We need your engagement.  We need you to show up in the best way possible.  How each of us is going to be asked to show up will vary.  But, we'll know it when we see it.  Some of us will speak out and say the things that others are not able to say.  Some of us will notice things that not everyone sees.  Some of us will pray without ceasing and be the container for all that needs to happen.  Some of us will be the feet on the ground.  Some of us will protect the children and animals.  Some of us will run for office.  There are endless ways that each and every one of us will be inspired to act, and all of us will merge together to bring about the world we know it's possible to create.  Together.

We've received the invitation.  Show up.  Rise up.  Lift up.  We can do this.  This is what we came for.  This is our work.  All of us are needed.  All is well.

Friday, November 4, 2016

The Sacred Service of Standing Rock

Those of us who came into the planet with what we now refer to as The Baby Boom, I call The Transition Team.  But, I'm now realizing that we were only the first of what will end up being a number of Transition Teams.  We came in to shake things up, to shake them loose, to initiate change, to crack it open.  I was 18 in 1968 and can only say how grateful I am that I got to be on the planet at that time and be old enough to be involved in the initiation of change that we brought about.

For my generation, there were extremes of expression that contributed to the cracks in the system we needed to create.  There were the militant ones who were very vocal, and sometimes violent, but whose voices were so needed in the equation.  We needed those who were able to express the anger and repression that we'd collectively experienced for eons.  We needed to hear the issues spoken out loud that were up for all of us.  We needed those who channeled the collective anger and got things moving.  And then, there was the other end of the equation with the "hippie" movement that initiated a big shove toward the idea that love was the answer and that it was important to "get back to the garden."  As active as some of my generation have been, it's now time for a new Transition Team to shake things up in a different way.  And, apart from shaking things up, the now generation also has solutions to bring to the table that weren't able to be put into play previously.  Because of what we did, they're ahead of where we started and will take us further forward in the direction we need to go collectively.

Standing Rock is part of this process.  My 3X great grandfather was Ochinee, a sub-chief of the Southern Cheyenne tribe, and he was killed in the massacre at Sand Creek on November 29, 1864.  I'm very activated by what's going on at Standing Rock right now.  Not only because I feel my DNA stirring, but because of the deep wound it brings up for all of us in terms of how we've collectively treated Native Americans since the beginning of our country.  The USA is founded on the genocide of Native Americans...because the immigrants wanted what they had; wanted to live where they lived; wanted to own land which, to the Native Americans, was impossible to own; and, who were driven by greed and wanted to profit from the land instead of care for it.  Those who came to this continent pushed the Native Americans back as they marched forward from the East Coast to the West Coast, agreed to treaties they never honored, and slaughtered and marginalized the native people.  These issues are not gone.  All of this is alive and continuing today and being brought into the collective consciousness through the events at Standing Rock.

I think there is a collective agreement in place with all the souls involved at Standing Rock to play out these issues for the benefit of the awareness it brings to all of us.  There are centuries of abuse and trauma being enacted yet again, only this time on a world stage with global awareness.  Only this time, we're all involved.  Only this time, we get to choose to handle it differently.  Even President Obama, in his detachment and concern for the monied interests, is playing his part.  The choice he's made to "let it all play out over the next couple of weeks" is made from the same mindset that the powers that be have had in regard to those on the front lines in conflict after conflict.  The idea that the harm that is happening to those involved is less important than rerouting a pipeline that should never have been built is the mindset we're in the process of changing.

Things have to be shaken up.  Some people need to yell and confront.  Some people need to pray and act as containers.  Some people need to sweat and smudge and purify.  Everyone at Standing Rock, on both sides, is fulfilling a very sacred purpose for all of us.  These roles must be played out for all of us to see so we can come into awareness about the issues and energetics we still carry that these events are embodying.  No matter who you relate to in this conflict, or where you are in how you feel about it, we're all being healed by it in the long run.  No matter how little things look like they're moving around it, they are moving.  Minds are being affected, hearts are being affected.  Some people, on the military side of the equation, have quit their jobs because they are refusing to perpetrate atrocities in the name of greed.  Movement is happening.

Vibrationally, things need to get stirred up.  This type of event, such as Standing Rock, starts the vibrational resonance that builds and results in real and deep change.  As upsetting as it can be...and, believe me, I'm one of those people who's intensely upset and affected by what's going on's performing an important service.  Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are also serving us.  I'm the last person who wants Donald Trump as president, but he's bringing up and initiating vibrational change in regard to a number of issues that would otherwise have stayed suppressed.  Life has chosen a very good change agent.  Because of Donald Trump's inability to act in a civilized manner, he's been a continuous well of richness in terms of all the issues he's activated.  Because of him, women are joining forces and saying "no more."  Because of him, we're looking at our election process and seeing that reforms are sorely needed.  Because of him, we're looking at armament, financials, violence, racism, xenophobia, bullying, irresponsibility and obstructionism in government, and the list goes on.

Hillary Clinton is also serving in another way.  She's bringing up issues of integrity, female power, greed, corporate investment, using political office for personal gain, and again, the list goes on.  Both of our current candidates are perfect for the time, as uncomfortable as they both make us in different ways.  Without either of them, we wouldn't have the chance we are currently being given to look at all the issues they both bring to the fore.  For those who pray, endless prayers are needed for all the players now on the world stage of awakening, on both sides of whatever situation you might be aware of or involved in.

It is my feeling that we have some years ahead of us to become aware of the issues that have been sleeping and to wake them up and move through them.  But, I feel that in about 4 years, we'll start to see things tip in a way that will allow us all to move forward differently.  We have to be strong in this interim period of transition.  Those of us who can, need to hold the pole of where we're headed collectively and form a compassionate container for all the change that needs to and will be taking place.  It is not an easy task to balance all the chaos and confusion that this type of monumental collective change requires.  It is not an easy task to witness and be present for all the horror that is taking place.  But, the darkness has to be seen.  The darkness has to be owned, integrated, accepted and loved free.  This is exactly what so many of us came into the planet to do.  This is our work.  We were born to do this.

I have personally, just within the last week, finally come into an awareness of things I've been holding and hiding from and suppressing for most of my life.  Things are moving that I wasn't sure were ever going to show themselves in a way I could understand and own.  My heart is opening in ways I could only have hoped for previously, because it is getting broken day after day after day.  I'm getting worn down.  The type of pounding we've been experiencing, in the election and in numerous other worldwide events, is necessary in order to wear us down, to wear away the resistance we have to all of what we need to see.  Even though it's not easy or comfortable or pleasant to confront, all the issues we see in the world exist in each one of us personally.  They're different for each of us.  We all get triggered by different things.  We're all involved in or aware of different issues and situations.  But, for all of us, in whatever way it's showing up, we're being given a golden opportunity to move through a huge backlog of misperceptions, constrictions, resistances and limitations.  We're being given an opportunity to leap forward in a quantum way.  And, even though this type of vast and substantial change might be challenging, it is a gift of immense proportion.

What's needed?  Notice where you're triggered and what's being brought up for review.  Notice what you're feeling drawn to in terms of where you feel you might be of benefit.  Witness what's happening with compassion for all involved.  Do whatever you feel drawn to do to help balance the energies at play.  Be present to what's happening without numbing to it.  Pray, do ceremony, create rituals, form groups, discuss, be curious, engage.  Each of us will have to discover the ways that work best for us.  Each of us will be called upon to confront our own issues in our own ways.  Each of us will change and transform in ways we can't even imagine right now.  Step up when you're called to and in whatever way you're called to do it.

The Native Americans at Standing Rock are serving as a wonderful example in terms of how they are dealing with the violence and imperialism and greed they are being faced with.  They are being peaceful and relying on prayer.  They are dealing with the issues at play in a deeply sacred way.  They are embodying principles for all of us to be inspired by and to follow.  They are sacrificing themselves on the altar of collective change and awakening.  Honor them for their amazing service.  Honor them for their personal sacrifice.  Honor them for what they've held for all of us for time immemorial.  Honor them for their strength and courage.  And, honor the perpetrators of violence as well, because without that pole being held, this mirror couldn't exist.

We're going to see amazing and wondrous change in the next few years.  We're going to be called upon to step up in ways that many of us won't see coming.  To use a term that Glennon Doyle Melton coined, we're all "Love Warriors."  We came in to play this out.  We came in to heal ourselves and our planet.  It might look dark right now, but it's true that it always looks darkest right before a breakthrough.  We're on our way to a breakthrough.  And, we're going to make it.  We've taken everything to the brink, but we're not going to go over.  We're going to pull it back.  We just need to keep going.  Hang in there.  Trust the process.  All is well.