Notes on the Journey

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

All Is Well

The theme for this month's astrology forecast from The Power Path by Lena Stevens is "Transition."  And, I'm smack dab in the middle of huge transition.  I guess that makes me right on time, not that it feels like that.  It feels like chaotic free-fall.  But, I keep reminding myself that if I step on the path, the path will appear.  Yes.  Trust and let Life take the wheel.

My transition feels like a high-wire act with no net.  I have to let go of everything on one side of it in order to allow in what's on the other side.  No matter how trusting one thinks they are, this type of situation brings up all of one's insecurities.  I know to give my insecurities their space and let them talk away while not buying into them, but in the actual living of it, it's not always easy to do.  So, it's a bit of a see-saw emotionally.

Our egos are set up to be concerned for our survival.  And, homelessness, even transitional homelessness, gets the ego all stirred up.  Open-ended situations of blind trust are not where the ego shines.  But, in spite of all the warnings my ego is sending me, both through my own mental spinning as well as being reflected through people in my world, I continue forward into unknown territory.  The knowing that is emerging deep within me is that All Is Well.  I keep saying that to myself.  And, it's true, even though I have no idea what it's all going to look like.

I've got a lot of balls in the air right now, and it's going to take a few more days for the important ones to settle into the palm of my hand.  Time constraints keep cropping up around all of the elements involved.  But, so far, All Is Well.  I have a place to stay during the time I have to be out of my apartment in San Diego and when I leave for France, which, until yesterday, I didn't have.  All the things I own are literally flying out the door to all the craigslist angels who are coming to buy them.  Paperwork and insurance issues and health coverage issues and cat transport issues are coming together.  It's my final resting place in France that's still not completely settled, but the apartment situation is in process as I write this.

The place I thought I was going to live in near Montelimar did not end up being the right place for me once I saw it.  It was too far out in the country and too isolated for someone who wants to be able to walk to French classes and interact with French people in a village setting everyday.  I've made friends in Uzes, which was starting to feel like home when I left to come back to San Diego, and it was clear to me that that is where my heart is.

So, Transition, yes, with a capital "T."  Trust, yes, with a capital "T."  No matter what's happening, focus on what I'm creating, do not get distracted by the small stuff, and keep walking.  And, always remember that All Is Well.  Thank you, thank you, thank mantra.   

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