Notes on the Journey

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Enjoy Every Minute

I'm sitting in my new apartment in my office, looking out my window that faces west.  It's sunrise and I'm struck by the beauty that lies before me.  We've had our first real snow, so there's a blanket of white over the landscape and I can see a little brown bunny hopping around amid the sparse scrub that dots the white.  Off to the far mountains there's an amazing color of turquoise along the horizon, and above it pink-tinged clouds that reach up to the gray overcast that is most of the sky.  There is a patch of clearing though, so who knows how much more snow we'll get today.

It's been a little over a month since my house was broken into, and in that month I've sold my house--it sold in two days for full list price!--found a lovely apartment at the base of the mountain--I found it the day the offer came in--and moved.  I finally got all of my things into the apartment three days ago; not put away mind you, just all in one place.  It feels great.

I've sold, given away and donated about half of my belongings.  The people who've taken and/or received them are very happy with their new things, and I'm very happy to have less things.  As I go through what's left, I'm still realizing that much of it has to go.  I had put a number of things on my porch/balcony--I'm on the second floor--which are now covered with snow; and, I'm realizing that I must give most of what's out there away before it gets ruined by the weather.

This is what I wanted.  I'm on the edge of the city at the base of the mountain.  I have a view and a sense of expansion.  There's a pool and a hot tub on the property, although I doubt I'll use them until the summer.  The kitties are getting used to their new space, and because they all came in together, and none of them had a chance to stake out their territory ahead of the others, they're getting along better and utilizing the whole apartment.  The old patterns of contention remain, but they're doing much better.

I've barely had a second to think for the past month, but I'm finally starting to relax.  Escrow closes on my house in three days.  It's been blessedly fast.  The only thing I have to go back to the house for is the cleaning people who are coming the day before the closing.  Other than that, I'm completely out.  I went to a Christmas concert last night and then out to dinner with a friend, and on the way home, I stopped at the house to turn off the watering system for the yard.  The house is still my responsibility for a few more days, and I don't want anything untoward to happen while she's under my watch.

I've talked to my house and prayed with her.  I've explained why I'm leaving and she understands.  We've let each other go easily and with much love.  She was a great house for me while I lived in her.  And, I feel good about the new owner, who I think will love and appreciate her as well.  But, as much as I loved her and the fact that she was mine, I'm now happy to be a renter again, and willingly shed the burdens and responsibilities of home ownership.  I feel renewed and free, lighter and more mobile.

I've also been feeling raw and edgy, emotional and cranky.  The stress of the move is a factor, but there's so much light pouring into the planet right now, and we're all struggling to integrate it fast enough not to be overwhelmed by it.  It's affecting every level of our beings as we are lifted up into a new dimension of life.  Our bodies are doing their best to transform from a carbon-based system into a crystalline-based system, but it's a bit of a struggle.  Previously, when a population has been transformed physically, the inhabitants transitioned out of their bodies and then took incarnations into new body forms that worked with the upgrade of vibration for their planet.  But, we are a huge science experiment and are transitioning our bodies while we're still inhabiting them.  It's a first, and we're the pioneers who signed up to go through this process to see if it's possible.  So far, so good.  But, since it's the first time it's been attempted, none of us have any idea how long the process will take or what it will be in actuality.  We're just living it moment by moment and finding out as we go.

We have so much change ahead of us, and it's going to happen rapidly.  Humans don't like change for the most part.  Humans like to hold on to what we've got and settle in.  But, that pattern is going to be challenged and stretched to the limit.  Life is going to reshape us and demand new things of us, we're going to be forced to grow and move way out of our comfort zones.  It's a gift, but not everyone is going to be happy about it.  We often resist the gifts of Life as they come, realizing only later how beneficial they were.  In the crumbling system of duality, we've often judged our gifts to be negative events, when actually they were the very things that pushed us forward and grew us into better beings.  But, as we go forward into the new field and allow the judgments of the past to drop away, hopefully we can open to the opportunity that we're being given and receive it without resistance.  One of my prayers is to be able to drop all resistance to Life, however it shows up.

I keep reminding myself of the tremendous journey we're all on together, and that I wanted to be here for this planetary transition and to be part of this great human experiment of transformation.  It helps to remember when the pressure of the Light coming in gets a bit intense.  We need to build in time-outs for ourselves and remember to breathe.  When we're feeling particularly edgy and raw, if we can step back and remember the larger picture of what's happening, and breathe Life through, we'll be able to expand and integrate more easily.  And, if we're cranky, so are most other people.  So, if someone snaps at you, try not to snap back.  They probably don't even know why they snapped at you and are feeling bad about it, so a kind response will go a long way.

I'm off to make the first cup of coffee in my new apartment.  I finally found the coffee maker this morning.  And, joy of joys, I'd had the wherewithal to pack the filters and the coffee with it!  Hallelujah!  Be kind to yourselves and enjoy every minute, whatever it brings.

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